it's not perfect (but it's home)
by thunderstcrm
Summary: Sirius takes Harry from Privet Drive on October 31, 1981, and decides to raise him where no one can find him. It doesn't really help that Remus lives in the cottage he'd chosen, but someone had to be responsible.


_Sirius_

There was no way that Sirius was letting his godson be brought to those...those _Muggles_.

He snorted grimly to himself, thinking of how Lily would have scolded him for thinking of Muggles with such distain as he picked up the tiny baby from the doorstep of Number Four, Privet Drive, holding him gently to his chest. Little Harry Potter, sleeping soundly as if nothing life changing had happened a few hours before. Sirius could only imagine the screams, the terror...You-Know-Who killing two of his best friends…

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, finger idly tracing the cut on Harry's forehead as he calmed himself. It would likely scar, he figured, and wasn't that the saddest part. Orphaned at such a young age, with a constant reminder of his parents' death on his face forever.

Life had a cruel sense of humor. He knew that all too well.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid were gone, and once he was sure of that fact, Sirius closed his eyes and thought. Somewhere Muggle, somewhere where no one would find them. With the thought in mind, he held Harry closer and Disapparated, hoping desperately that it wouldn't harm the sleeping baby. Hagrid had his motorbike, after all. He wasn't sure the half-giant would be too keen on giving said motorbike back to a supposed criminal.

Peter Pettigrew, the traitor. If he had the chance, he'd kill the man on sight.

Sirius took a deep breath and looked around where they landed, spotting what he'd imagined. A small cottage, one that Lily had brought him, James, and the rest of the Marauders to for a vacation. No one knew of it that he knew of. Even if they did know about it, they wouldn't soon enough. Not if he had anything to say about it.

He brought Harry inside ( _thank Merlin he's safe_ ) and conjured up a crib by his bed, setting the babe into it gently and covering him up with a blanket. There. Setting a protection charm on the room, Sirius fell back onto the mattress behind him and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Harry's breathing. He'd put a Fidelius Charm on the cottage in the morning. They'd be safe during the night.

For now, Sirius Black let himself grieve.

He woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon.

For a moment, Sirius wasn't completely aware of why that was. Hell, he wasn't aware of much of anything, if he was being honest with himself. He was groggy, cranky, and not completely awake just yet. Harry had cried a few times during the night as well, which made things worse-

 _Harry_. Oh. Right.

Taking a deep breath (he did those a lot, he realized), Sirius walked over and picked Harry up carefully, wand at the ready as he opened the door and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Who was in here..?

"Remus?"

He stared in shock as the werewolf turned around, giving him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. The smile faded when he saw who was in Sirius' arms.

"'Lo Sirius. Why do you have Harry?"

"He's my bloody godson, that's why." He frowned. "Why are you here?"

"I live here." At Sirius' baffled look, he continued. "I may have lost my apartment and job. Lily opened this up for me to live in until I found somewhere else." Remus coughed and sighed, taking the pan off the stove and facing him fully. "Then I heard what happened last night, came home, and found my room charmed. Figured it would be you or some stranger."

Sirius watched him, still shocked by the whole situation as he put his wand away and shifted Harry in his arms. "Have they caught Peter?"

The other man's face turned grim. "They're looking. Nothing has been found yet." He reached up and rubbed his eyes, glancing at Sirius wearily. "Why do you have Harry, Sirius? He's supposed to be with his aunt and uncle."

Sirius shook his head. "Not if I have anything to say about it.-"

"-you _don't_ have anything to say about it-"

"- You've met them, Remus. They're awful and hateful of magic. If he stayed with them for however long, be it when he becomes school age or whenever, he'd grow up hating himself. Don't tell me you honestly want that."

He took Remus' silence as a no, and walked over to grab some food. He hoped Harry liked pancakes. Sirius ignored Remus' stare long enough to conjure up a high chair and put Harry into it, setting a pancake in front of him and smiling a bit as the one year old tore at it contently. He heard Remus sit beside him and sighed. "What?"

"Have you cast a Fidelius Charm yet? If he's staying here…"

"I'm going to, Remus. It's just...it's been a long night. Don't have time to search for a Secret Keeper."

Remus bit his lip. "I could be the Secret Keeper."

Sirius finally looked up. "You're sure?"

"Sirius, why wouldn't I be?" The man looked at Harry. "James was my friend too."

He was silent for a long moment before nodding. "Alright, Moony. Alright."

They'd keep Harry safe. Two was better than one, after all.

 _Remus_

Despite Sirius agreeing to Remus being the Secret Keeper, the man seemed extremely wary of him, watching him when he thought he wasn't looking and keeping him in sight if he was holding Harry. It hurt, yes, but he understood why Sirius felt the need to do this. They had just been betrayed by one of their best friends, and one of them had been killed in the aftermath. Sirius being wary was nothing Remus didn't expect.

It still hurt, though, knowing that Sirius had to be suspicious of him and his movements, his motives. Not once would he have been this way before. They had trusted each other more than probably anyone else could trust a person, at least on Remus' side of the friendship. Sirius had been the first to put together the pieces and find out Remus was a werewolf, much to his annoyance back during school.

" _It's none of your business," Remus had snapped, backing up and keeping distance between himself and the Black heir. "Leave it alone, Sirius."_

 _Sirius had just shook his head and stepped closer toward him, holding out a hand. When Remus didn't move away, he took his hand, looking at it with sudden interest. "You're my friend, Moony," he said quietly, looking up to meet his eyes. "One of my best. There's no way I'm just leaving it alone."_

He had then gone on to telling James and Peter, who then researched and became Animagi to accompany him during the full moon dates. Remus had never been more surprised than when he found that out.

"Moony."

Remus looked up from his reminiscing, blinking to focus his eyes as he came back to the present time. Sirius was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking between him and baby Harry in his arms. The one year old was sound asleep for once, nestled up against Remus' chest contently. It was as if he had known something had happened to his parents despite his age, and sleep was a rare thing for Harry to do because of it. He was fussy most nights, keeping either Remus or Sirius up until he decided to go to sleep again. It was tiring, and Remus often wondered how Lily and James had done it.

He wished he could ask them.

"Yeah?" he finally said, waiting for Sirius to speak once the other man's eyes set on him. It was a long, drawn-out few moments of silence as he seemed to consider what he was going to say, and Remus found that he was holding his breath as he waited.

"You should sleep," Sirius eventually said, walking toward him and holding his arms out. "I'll watch Harry. You look exhausted."

He snorted half-heartedly as he handed the baby over, rubbing his eyes. He _was_ tired. "Please, Padfoot. I got less sleep keeping you and James in line during school." He smiled a bit when that got a laugh from Sirius, and he looked up again to see his smile. When was the last time either of them had actually smiled? Between taking care of Harry and dealing with their own grief the best they could, time for smiles and laughter-once the trademark of the infamous Marauders-was all but gone. It was nice to see that they still _could_ laugh and smile, even with James dead and Peter on the run.

"Guess you're not wrong on that one. Still." Sirius shook his head and nudged Remus gently, careful not to jostle Harry. "One of us needs to be rested. Might as well be the responsible one." Another smile, and Remus thought he was just dreaming at this point. "Go on now. Get some rest."

Remus returned the smile tiredly and nodded, nudging him back. "Fine, fine. Wake me in a few hours." He rolled his eyes at the vague response he received, knowing it likely wouldn't happen as he walked off to catch up on his sleep.

Maybe Sirius trusted him again after all.

 _Breathe, just breathe, Remus,_ _ **breathe**_ _-_

" _Remus!" came a voice, and his eyes shot open, breathing heavy and uneven as he sat up in his bed. Dream, it was just a dream, and he was...not home. He was at Hogwarts. Above him, looking worried and uncertain, was a black haired boy. His hand was hovering over his shoulder, a few inches away from having touched him to wake him up. The eleven year old frowned as he slowly calmed down. Sirius, right. This was Sirius Black._

"' _S'not good to touch someone havin' a nightmare," he mumbled, propping himself up on his hands and watching Sirius relax. Sirius sat on the bed beside him and crossed his legs, watching him._

" _I know. It's why I didn't." He frowned, looking him over. "You alright?"_

 _Remus shook his head and sighed. "What's it look like?"_

 _Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Looks bad." He leaned forward, head tilting to the side. "Lucky I was up. Ya almost woke James and Peter up."_

" _What about Frank?"_

" _He's off doin' whatever. Causin' trouble I bet."_

 _Remus managed a smile. "Seems like something you'd do."_

 _Sirius beamed widely. "Can't help it. So...wanna talk about it?"_

 _His smile faded. "No." He couldn't tell anyone he was a werewolf. No one would look at him the same after that. Sirius shrugged, to Remus' surprise._

" _Wanna play some chess?"_

 _He relaxed and slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."_

 _Sirius wasn't too bad after all._

They slowly fell into a pattern.

Remus would go out during the day with the rest of the Aurors, searching for Peter, for You-Know-Who, for anyone. If they could get at least one person arrested and put away for the murder of James and Lily Potter, Remus would be slightly satisfied. If that didn't go well, he would come home to find the oddest things happening: Sirius babbling at Harry, trying to teach him how to speak (" _He already speaks, Sirius." "I know, but I know he can say more than one word sentences!"_ ), Harry bashing Sirius on the head with a toy broomstick (" _I think you angered him." "Piss off, Moony."_ ), and, bizarrely (and quite scarily), Harry hanging upside down from the ceiling, the child laughing gleefully while Sirius stood under him (" _...why?" "He wanted to fly! I swear he said fly, Moony, when you left." "...I think he meant 'bye', Sirius."_ ).

Some of the times, however, were just adorable, including this night. They had thought they had gotten a lead, but by the time the sun had set, the Aurors had found absolutely nothing. Dejected, everyone made their way home, and Remus opened the door to find a sight he wished he could take a picture of: Sirius was laying down on the couch with Harry on his chest, the baby's head nestled securely in his neck. One of Sirius' hands was settled on Harry's back, keeping him in place, and the book they had been reading ( _poetry, Remus saw, and he smiled a bit_ ) now on the floor, as if Sirius had just tossed it there haphazardly.

Remus stood there for the longest time, just staring. It was adorable. It was stunning. It was picture perfect, really. His little family-

His thoughts stopped there. They really were his family, weren't they? The most horrible circumstance imaginable brought them together, yes, but Sirius and Remus cared for Harry every day, hoping to do Lily and James some justice. If he was being honest with himself, Remus had always found family with these two. He cared for Harry like his own son, and Sirius...Merlin, that was a bridge to cross another day.

Sirius and Harry, though, were his family. Something twinged in his chest, and Remus smiled a bit. He walked toward the closet and got a duvet from it, draping it over the two gently and kissing Harry's head.

Family. He could live with that.

 _Sirius_

 _Sirius hated full moons. At the beginning, sure, it had seemed like it would be a rush. He and the lads got to turn into Animagi (albeit illegally), they got to accompany Remus during his transformation, and Remus would (hopefully) know that he was cared for, that he wasn't alone in this. That, and they got to see an actual werewolf upclose and in person-or, rather, in animal-form. He felt mainly bad for Peter, with his Animagus being a rat. James got a stag, and Sirius himself got a dog, but a rat? Poor lad._

 _After the first night, however, Sirius decided full moons weren't all that cracked up to be._

 _How could he think they were, after witnessing Remus' transformation right in front of him? One of his best friends going through what looked like a painful change, bones twisting and forming into different structures than they were grown to be in, skin sprouting fur, his entire face elongating so his mouth and nose became a snout, his eyes widening and not recognizing any of the three boys in front of him. They quickly changed before Remus did any harm to them, and after a frantic moment, the werewolf seemed to relax around the animals._

 _That didn't bring relief to Sirius, though. He doubted it brought relief to James or Peter either._

 _With no humans in sight the werewolf started destroying the furniture around it, and when that wasn't enough, its own flesh. Sirius winced and looked down, listening to Remus' howls of pain. He wished he could do more than just lay there and witness what his best mate was doing to himself. He wished he could cure him of the lycanthropy, allow him to live a normal life. He couldn't, however, so the company was all he could give._

 _It was nothing, really, but Remus seemed to be thankful all the same._

 _This particular full moon had been a bad one, and Sirius turned human the moment Remus did, blanket in his hands and wrapping it around the other boy's shoulders the moment he sat down on the bed. It was routine, almost. They'd been doing this for a few years now; they knew what Remus needed. James had gone out and gotten some tea from the kitchen's house elves, Peter went out to make sure no one came by while Remus recovered, and Sirius sat beside him in either human or dog form, wrapping him in a blanket and just staying close. No words were passed; the simple companionship was enough most nights. If it was bad, Sirius would try to get a word out of him, wanting to see if he would talk about it (normally he did not). Normally, he would press on, but during full moons, Sirius knew better than to push. When it wasn't as bad as most nights, Remus would talk with the other Marauders tiredly, sipping his tea and letting himself relax._

 _Like he had noticed, tonight had been bad. So James brought the tea, Peter stood guard, and Sirius wrapped the blanket tightly around his shoulders, examining him for a moment before turning into a human and wrapping himself into a ball against Remus, pressing against his leg. He stayed like that for a few minutes before he felt a hand on his back, and the dog looked up to see Remus slowly shake his head. Confused, Sirius turned back and tilted his head to the side._

" _Remus?"_

 _Instead of answering, the other boy just leaned against Sirius' side, head on his shoulder and eyes closing. Sirius didn't question it, simply wrapping his arms around Remus gently and murmuring to him quietly, comfortingly. Soon the boy fell asleep, and Sirius looked up at James and Peter._

 _He wasn't sure how Remus would be once they ended school and started their own lives. Maybe a few of them would go for more school. He knew he and James were going to be Aurors, but Remus and Peter...he didn't know. Maybe they'd join them._

 _All Sirius was certain about was the fact that if Remus called for him, he'd be over in a heartbeat, tea and blanket in hand if it was needed. He'd be there no matter what. He just hoped Remus knew that as well._

"We should get jobs."

Remus looked up in surprise, staring at Sirius like he had two heads.

"Sorry, is Sirius Black talking now? Because I feel like you just suggested we get jobs. That's also suggesting we don't have jobs."

Sirius threw a wad of newspaper at Remus' head and rolled his eyes, leaning back on the couch. He looked down briefly and watched Harry play with some Muggle toys (Legos, he believed they were called) before speaking again. "We do have jobs, I'm not an idiot. Just...we have Harry now, Moony." He looked up. "You really want to be going out and maybe getting killed? We're all he's got."

"He has his aunt and uncle."

"That's not up for discussion."

He watched the other man sigh and set his book down, looking between Harry and Sirius curiously. "Wizard jobs or Muggle jobs?"

"Whichever. Muggle might help us blend in better, keep Harry safe."

"You know nothing about Muggles, Sirius."

"I do so!" he protested. "I took Muggle Studies!"

Remus snorted, looking amused. "Showing up doesn't qualify as taking the course, especially when all you do is sleep and copy my notes."

Sirius sputtered protests, but they all fell on deaf ears as Remus picked his book up again. The Black heir crossed his arms and pouted. "I can fix bikes. You like books. You work a bookshop, I fix up motorbikes and such. A mechanic, was it?" His pout furthered as Remus gave him a pointed look.

"Does this mean I'm taking on the role of teaching you about Muggles?"

"Yes. I'll be a good student." Sirius jutted his lower lip out, wobbling it as he clasped his hands together. "Please, Remus?"

"Oh, Merlin," Remus muttered, shaking his head. "Fine, fine. We'll see what we can do."

Sirius grinned and ran over, kissing his cheek on instinct. "Brilliant! I'll do all the research I can. I won't let you down, Remus!" He darted off, missing Remus' furious blush and his hand raising to the cheek he had kissed, watching him as he left.

It took until Harry was two for Sirius to finally stop stumbling around what was and wasn't acceptable to say around Muggles. He was tempted to quit on numerous occasions, but every pointed look Remus gave him at even the mention of quitting had him taking his words back and him trying harder than before. He didn't want to disappoint the man, after all, not when they had come so far.

It was worth it, though. His mechanic shop was doing well, and in such a small town, he and Remus were both surprised to see a lack of a book store; they had only a library, shockingly enough, so when Remus opened up the shop, everyone was thrilled. There wasn't a dull day, and they always had at least some sort of business going through it. It helped with the bills, and it was steady enough that they could afford some luxuries to give to Harry, like new toys, new clothes, and, when he met enough friends at the park and such, birthday parties.

That was the other thing: Harry. There wasn't a moment that went by that Harry wouldn't know he was loved. The two men made sure Harry knew that in particular, whether it be through new books that he seemed to like or just signs of affection. He'd climb into one of their beds as he got older to hide from his nightmares, or tell them about so-and-so who he may or may not have a small crush on.

The most important thing, however, was that Harry knew about his parents. He considered Remus and Sirius his fathers, yes (though they had insisted on uncles at the beginning, Harry never listened; Remus was da and Sirius was pa), but he would grow up knowing that James and Lily were his parents, that a man with bad intentions came by and killed them. He knew that he didn't die because of his mother and father's love for him, protecting him from the dark magic cast by the man. He knew James and Lily Potter loved him very much, and by making sure Harry knew that, Remus and Sirius were at ease when caring for their son. He would never be in harm's way again.

It was when Harry was five and had come home from school (" _He should go to school, Sirius. It's healthy for him." "If he dies because of this I'm killing you, Remus."_ ) that their relationship was addressed.

"Are you and da married, pa?"

Sirius and Remus stared at Harry in shock, both unsure how to respond to that.

"Why do you ask?" Remus eventually asked, glancing at Sirius.

"'Cos everyone at school has a mummy or daddy or both or two mummies or two daddies or one mummy or daddy and-" How was the child going on so long without a break? Sirius had to wonder, "-I was wonderin' if you two were married 'cos Trisha said I can only have two daddies if you were married," Harry finally finished, sipping his juice. Another long moment of silence passed before either of them spoke.

"We're not married, Harry," Sirius said slowly. "We're still your daddies, though."

"Oh. How? Alex said people who date can be daddies too." He frowned, and Sirius sighed. This really wasn't how he wanted to address his more-than-platonic feelings for Remus. Speaking of…

"We just are, Harry," Remus said gently. "Do you think we're your daddies?"

The toddler nodded. "Yeah."

"Then we are."

Harry shrugged and slurped his juice again. "'Kay."

The two men lost the kid's attention, and they turned it on each other instead. Sirius took a deep breath. "Remus-"

"I'm off to work," he said quickly, grabbing his coat and kissing Harry's head. "I'll see you later." He left before Sirius could say another word, leaving him with his hand in the air.

"...bye," he said, long after Remus was gone.

 _Remus_

 _The kiss had been brief, and drunken, but still everything Remus wanted at that moment._

 _As Head Boy, he really shouldn't have been drinking to begin with, but what the hell. It was their last week of school at Hogwarts forever. Certainly a situation like that called for a few shots of firewhiskey. But bloody_ _ **hell**_ _, the stuff burned like something else, and each shot he took felt like he was swallowing fire rather than alcohol. He wasn't sure why James and Sirius enjoyed it so much. He should have been like Peter and passed on the booze._

" _C'mon now," James said, lifting his glass up high and grinning. "We're doin' some truth or dare!"_

" _You're rubbish, Potter," Sirius said, shoving his best friend's arm. "That game's for first years."_

" _Live a little!" James took another shot and looked at Peter. "Alright, Wormtail! Truth or dare."_

 _The shorter man's eyes widened, and he gulped. "Um, truth?"_

 _James grinned. "Right! So, what actually happened with you and Alice, eh? There's no way in hell you were just studying astronomy."_

 _Peter blushed furiously. "Nothing! We really were. I wouldn't betray Frank like that."_

 _He raised an eyebrow. "Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist. Padfoot, my dearest friend!" He slapped Sirius' shoulder. "Truth or dare?"_

 _Sirius shot another glass back and grinned. "If I'm doing this, I'm all in. Dare me, Prongs!"_

 _James grinned and looked around the common room. "Pick anyone in here, mate. Just go up and kiss 'em right on the lips."_

 _Remus swallowed thickly, heart pounding as Sirius nodded at the challenge and stood. He wouldn't get jealous over something so petty as truth or dare, especially when Sirius "womanizer" Black had to kiss someone. They weren't dating anyway, so why should he care? The lads being alright with him being gay was one thing, but to know he was smitten with Sirius…_

 _He sighed as Sirius walked around the room, winking at a few birds and even blokes before making it back to their little circle. His eyes found Remus', and Remus felt his mouth go dry._

" _Backing out of the challenge?" James asked, surprised. Sirius shook his head._

" _Not in a million years, Prongs." He walked toward Remus and cupped his cheeks, Remus barely having time to think before his lips were touching Sirius'._

 _His brain seemed to malfunction, only faintly hearing the hollers of shock from Peter and the calls of encouragement from James as he finally began to respond to the kiss. It was beautiful, and for the moment he could bask in the moment before Sirius could pull back and claim it as a drunken mistake. Remus wished he didn't have to let him go, but soon enough it ended, and he stared at Sirius in a daze as he sat down._

 _James was smirking at them. "My, my. Remus, truth or dare?"_

 _He answered without thinking. "Truth."_

" _Do you love Sirius, Mooney?"_

 _Did he really have to ask? "Yes."_

" _Remus-"_

" _Drop it, Sirius. We were drunk. I get it."_

" _You don't understa-"_

" _No, I do. Just...spare me, okay? Never again. We weren't thinking clearly."_

" _Just listen to me and-"  
_ " _Sirius!" Silence. "Please."_

" _...okay."_

 _And that was that._

"Remus."

He sighed as he shut the door after work, taking a few deep breaths. He didn't want or need this conversation. It seemed he had no choice either way. Slowly he turned around, faced with a nervous ( _what?_ ) looking Sirius. Why would he be nervous? It made no sense.

"Yes, Sirius?"

Sirius said nothing, taking Remus' briefcase and setting it on the table beside a tray with the tea kettle and two cups. Remus sighed and went over, sitting down and pouring them both tea to their liking. Sirius sat beside him, and he nodded as he handed his cup over.

"Thank you."

"Do you remember," he said suddenly, ignoring the tea he'd made for them. "That night back in seventh year, with the truth or dare game?"

Remus closed his eyes. Here they went. "I try not to."

He didn't see but could envision his wince. "You never let me speak the morning after."

"I didn't need to. It was a drunk mistake, and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship over a silly crush."

"It didn't seem silly to me."

He sighed. "Why are you bringing it up, Sirius?"

Sirius rubbed his neck. "Like I said, you never let me finish." He paused. "There's a reason I didn't choose anyone else in that room, you know."

"None of them seemed interesting."

"Well, of course not." He shook his head. "Merlin, I was...I am...so smitten with you. You're an idiot to not have seen that."

Remus' mind went blank. "...what?"

Sirius smiled almost shyly. "Come on, now. If I had wanted anyone else in that room I would have chosen them. Why would I have snogged you for shits and giggles?" He nudged him lightly. Remus chuckled a bit in disbelief.

"I...really?" He saw Sirius nod, and he groaned. "I'm an idiot."

Sirius laughed. "Oh, I know that. Trust me." He hesitated before reaching out and taking his hand. "So...with what Harry said-"

"Sirius, you better not be proposing right now."

Sirius laughed. "Merlin, no. Not yet. Not without dating first, bloody hell." He smiled wider when Remus smiled up at him. "Dating is what I meant. Would you…, I dunno, maybe want that?"

Remus blushed furiously and nodded, sitting up. "Yeah, I think I would."

Sirius grinned and chewed his lip, reaching to cup Remus' cheek gently. Remus leaned into the touch, shivering gently when he felt Sirius' breath ghost against his lips.

"Me too," he whispered, closing the gap and kissing him.

Remus smiled against his lips. Maybe they had a chance after all.


End file.
